Practicing portaging
Mei Tan weighs 100 lbs. Almost the exact same weight as all the food we brought on this trip

Loading canoes on the train
Ready to go for the five-hour trip north! Right? Umm...

Unloading canoes from the train
Turns out there are two (count 'em) trains in Sault Saint Marie. Guess which one we picked?

NORTH OF SUPERIOR
This time, on the right track

CAPTAIN Jeff HAYMER
 

FIRST OFFICER JIM MARK
 

SECOND OFFICER JIM MARK
Demoted, after the "Pistachio incident"

BRIGADIER STEWARDESS MEI TAN
Pre-histamine reaction days (i.e., head still human-sized)

PARATROOPER ELIZABETH BLUEMKE
Ready to jump... four feet. But still.

off the train
Turns out they're serious about requiring tickets

WITCH BURNING
Still practiced north of the 49th parallel

BASE CAMP ALPHA BRAVO TANGO ZETA JONES
Our tent is the nicest

UNEXPECTED VISIT FROM BIOLAB CLEAN ROOM PERSONNEL
Turns out we left our keys there when picking up our smallpox samples

MEI & JIM
Note Mei's "creative" paddle stroke. This cavalier disregard for the rules of physics will come in to play later in the trip

ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS
I win!

AFTER WHACKING JIM IN THE NOSE, MEI ADDRESSES THE REST OF CAMP...
"You want a piece of me?!

LORD OF THE BLACK FLIES
"You talkin' to me?"

PHYSICS 101
force=mass x acceleration

PHYSICS 201
An object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force

PHYSICS 201, corollary
In this instance, the unbalanced force = Mei Tan. Oh yes, and a very large rock.

WASTE MANAGEMENT 101
Flushing our garbage out to sea

RESCUE ME!
C'mon baby, and rescue me

MEI! SAY SOMETHING!
"Helmet good. Me sleepy now."

CALWIN FALLS
Our campsite was still better, no matter what you say.

MEI, SHOWING OFF HER BOOBOOS
Hey: I said Booboos -- as in "ouchies". You know: Injuries. To the elbow, like. Get your mind out the gutter.

A QUIET MOMENT IS RUDELY INTERRUPTED...

...BY MEI AND JIM ATTEMPTING TO RUN THE WATERFALL
Courtesy of Photoshop.
 

COOKING UP A CAN OF WHOOP-ASS
Followed by a very nice Merlot.

LADY EVELYN FALLS
Then, just as quickly, gets back up

Video (6 mb) of Jim SOLoing Class 3 rapids
I taught him everything he knows

Don't click this unless you have a high-speed connection, doofus.