NATIONAL BOARD OF JOHN BENNETT REQUESTS $10 BILLION BAILOUT
DUNDAS, ON—John Bennett, president of the National Board of John Bennett, lobbied Parliament for an unprecedented $10 billion bailout package Monday. "In order to continue providing Canadians with a full range of John Bennett-related services, it is crucial that I receive this aid," Bennett told the legislature. "This relief package will not only will cover my $5,612 Visa debt, but numerous administrative costs, as well."

updates on our goings on...
Elizabeth has had her brain removed and cryogenically frozen. We're building a home-based fiber optic network to provide said frozen brain with a semblance of normal sensory input. I'm learning how to drill holes for the wiring!

John has been recently released, and is scrubbing, constantly scrubbing at those pesky microbes that incessantly crawl all over every square inch of his skin. They're everywhere. Must keep clean, must keep clean...

Our mostly-black-but-definitely-not-evil cat Anthrax, is mind-bogglingly intelligent, and even updates this website from time to time. As we speak, he is approaching the keyboard with his *$GIOUD JLK:upoery89zafcghuipa asdoph u c a47- 8er987 y23 $%

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